We all know about the gate lice that hang around the boarding door and surge forward at the first announcement, regardless of the number printed on their boarding pass. But significantly less has been written about the lesser-known variant of this phenomenon, the baggage carousel lice. Let’s just call them luggage lice. Perhaps because it does not have the same ring as their more prominent gate lice relative, or perhaps because everyone has to get on the plane, but not everyone has checked-in luggage, less is known about the species. But they exist, and they are infuriating.

Recently, I was in Turkey, and the designers of the airport in Istanbul added signage and lines, thinking that this would do any good whatsoever. It didn’t. The lice got through.

Now, before I get hate for this being something I should just shrug off, let me explain why I am so miffed by the practice.

• It accomplishes nothing.
  
  • If I am being generous, perhaps the only reason people engage in this practice is the fear of someone else taking their luggage intentionally or in error. This holds weight with me as the precious bag could just as easily get lost before the carousel or be taken before one gets to the carousel. That’s it. That is the only positive I can identify, and even then, it is a stretch.
    
• It blocks the view of everyone except the precious few who decided to stand one inch from the carousel, which elicits much frustration from the rest of us rule followers who now cannot see anything.
  
• It makes it impossible to collect your luggage when it eventually rolls around.
  
  • If you are taking on the role of luggage lice, you have to complete to swing your bag off the carousel with other lice standing right next to you.
  • If you are patiently waiting behind the line and somehow spot your bag, you then have to push through the lice barrier and then apologise for bashing into them with your luggage.
    
• It is simply inefficient. I have been to countries or airports where people actually honour the stand-off line (I’m not sure what it is called, but I’m going with it for the purpose of this rant). Where it works, it is a glorious thing to behold. Luggage is quickly and easily identified. One simply walks up to intercept it on the carousel and then removes it without fear of causing any bystander incapacity.

Now, to be clear, I’m not staying up all night worrying about this, just so you know. After getting this off my chest, I will return to the regular tone of my posts – positivity and inspiration. But it had to be said, and I feel some lightness now that my angst has been transferred to this post.

That’s it.

That’s the post.

Luggage Lice.